Friday, 1 September 2017

Film Review: Sand Sharks


My first Deep Blue Terror weekend was a huge success with 7 films watched and 3 books! Last weekend I looked at five films. This weekend so far I've watched another three and plan the same for tonight. Here I share with you my thoughts on another one I looked at.

Starring Corin Nemec, Brooke Hogan, Vanessa Evigan, Gina Holden
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1844770/?ref_=nv_sr_1 

The local Mayor and his son are planning a Spring Break music festival to revamp the town fortunes but a family of sand sharks are attacking anyone who venture into the water or on the sand dunes.

Having watched Jurassic Shark and Raiders of the Lost Shark, I figured I'd seen the worst in the shark film genre but I hadn't. Sand Sharks may well be the worst film I have ever seen. Lets put aside the idea of sharks swimming through sand as obviously that is never going to happen but the issues with the film itself go way beyond suspending your disbelief.

The acting is super dire. I liked Corin Nemec in Stargate SG1 so I have no idea what possessed him to do this film. His character Jimmy is the most appalling ever and is so over the top manic moronic sexist that I wanted to kill him myself. The tech guy is that over-enthusiastic child at a birthday party type, the intern is the bimbo there to be Jimmy's sexual toy, we have the cliche bitch investor and the dumb Mayor and the grizzled shark hunter. The only real acting was done by the underrated Brooke Hogan who was also the shining light in 2 headed shark attack. Sadly she was more or less alone other than Vanessa Evigan who was decent enough. Everyone else sucked.

Then it goes into the dumb parody of Jaws with the angry residents upset about closing the beach, the Mayor saying only 24 hours, the Sheriff not agreeing to that and the grizzled fisherman offering to kill the shark. We get the Sheriff running down the beach with a gun to tackle a false alarm just like Jaws 2. We get the two men going out in the boat at night to get the bounty, the shark expert saying the shark caught was a shark not the shark, Jimmy screaming Jaws lines and those from other films for no reason...if it was meant to be funny in any way it just failed and if it was meant as a shout out to classic films it just looked pathetic. Oh and Jimmy lying on the beach doing sand angels as the sharks close in? Yeah great film.

8 comments:

  1. Looks like Taylor Swift on the artwork...don't know why I think that but maybe I'm just thinking Swift getting eaten by sharks would be much more entertaining than what you described here. Sorry you had to be subjected to this one!

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    1. Heh, now that would be a good idea...Celebrity Shark Chow! I have a very long list of annoying people...

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  2. Awful movies are great when they make you laugh, not so much when they don't. It is a pretty awesome cover, though. And your review totally made me laugh! :D

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    1. This one was really bad! I think it might be the worst shark film I ever saw!

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  3. You summed this off perfectly. Made me laugh too! I can't remember if you've seen Shark Lake? Came across it on Netflix and thought about you.

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    1. It's still on my list to get to hopefully this month...

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  4. Sand angels? *snort* sometimes horrible movies are kinda fun in a batshit way? I do like the cover too, like Lark says, but why is she just standing there? If that shit was coming at me I'd be in the next county!

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    1. I'm afraid I just found this one annoying rather than funny in any way! Yeah all these films are making me want to stay away from water and beaches!

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