Wednesday, 15 March 2017

Chuckles Mini Reviews Catch Up


I review everything I read, on my blog and on Goodreads. Most reviews are of a decent length but sometimes you don't have much to say about the book because of its length or you DNFed it or various other reasons. In cases like that it makes sense to write a few mini reviews in one post and clear them out your way! So lets catch up with these reviews from early 2017.

Robert Hodam-The Ark 
The Ark is a story of an American president and corrupt White House imposing martial law under the ruse of a global epidemic quarantine that inadvertently becomes real when the Russians develop a GMO plague bacterium that falls into the hands of an environmental zealot who uses the president’s ruse to release this GMO. The result is annihilation of all but a handful of humans worldwide. This is the story of those American survivors of and how they survived on their ARK to rekindle the American idea. 

The book is very choppy, jumping back and forward in time and is disjointed and confusing. We get the full info dump history of each character in a sort of resume,  random conversations between each time jump that adds nothing to the story, then we are off to info dumps about a pile of new characters before finally returning to the main characters. There is no order or flow to this book which makes it frustrating and confusing to read. I could not find much of interest in it.
Read January 2017.
star rating photo: Two Star Rating 2stars.png

Justin Sloan-Teddy Bears and the Christmas Pirates
In the third book in the Teddy Defenders trilogy, Ari, Mia, and Brutas discover that teddy bear pirates are trying to ruin Christmas and take over the human world. They're taking all the new teddy bears from stockings and beneath trees, raising an army of these bears, and searching for a treasure that will give them immense power. It's up to Ari and his friends to find this treasure before the pirates do, rescue Christmas, and save the world.

It was the cover of this book that caught my eye, seeing the badass bear pirate with the dodgy expression on his furry face! Kids book or not, I wanted to read it and this third book in the series was free so there was no reason not to try it. And I'm glad I did as it was a bit of a fun read.

The Teddy Bear Pirates are kidnapping innocent bears to force them to join their ranks, taking new bears from their homes at Christmas. Ari, Mia and Brutus decide to interrogate the pirate bear that they catch in their home to find out where the captives are, determined to set them free. The pirate reluctantly agrees to take them to the boat and get them on board where they meet the cook who agrees to help them. Now they need to take over the ship but of course their plans end up falling apart and a full scale adventure begins.

I loved the teddy bears in the story especially poor Brutus with his lack of brains and fear of heights! Bears like that are made to be cuddled! It would make a fun bedtime read for kids as they cuddle their own bears and a decent light read for adults like me who are still kids at heart.

Read January 2017.   
star rating photo: 35 star rating 3-5-stars.jpg

LG Estrella-Two Necromancers, a Bureaucrat and an Elf
Two necromancers, a bureaucrat, and an elf – it sounds like the start of a bad joke, only the joke is on Timmy.

Timmy has spent most of his life as a necromancer. When he isn’t terrorising his enemies, he’s plotting inside his castle, which is built on top of lightless chasms filled with nameless horrors and beings of a generally malevolent and megalomaniacal nature. But after one of his latest creations, a zombie hydra-dragon-bear, tries to eat him, he decides that maybe it’s time to find a new, less dangerous, career.

Hope arrives in the form of a new law. War is coming to Everton, and the Council is desperate. In exchange for providing some help, Timmy might just earn that pardon he’s been looking for. Of course, just because it’s possible to earn a pardon doesn’t mean that it’s going to be easy.  


This was actually a fun read and if they were available in one volume, I'd buy it. Timmy's mad zombies are out of control and trying to kill him while his 10 year old assistant Katie is sinister and tells him constantly that she plans to kill him. Her ninja assassin rats Rembrandt and Monet are cute little psychos with flaming bows and arrows who I loved! Now he has to take on a pyromaniac elf and an angry dragon without getting himself, Katie or the Council Bureaucrat killed, while keeping the monsters under the castle under control. Good characters, fun creatures and dark humour make it well worth a read for a free book.
Read January 2017.
star rating photo: Three Star Rating 3stars.png

James Hunt-Static #1
The thin thread holding the civilized world together has been severed. Millions of citizens have been thrust into the unknown, breeding fear into the minds and souls of those seeking to survive. Wren Burton, an architect from Chicago, has been engulfed by the chaotic aftermath of an EMP blast. Her family is injured. The enemy is unknown. And help is nowhere to be found.  

I loved Static #0, the first in the series and so looked forward to the next one but this was disappointing. Wren goes from capable mother to whining snotty bitch, the people at the safe compound they find are nasty and rude murdering asshats and the plot goes stupid and frustrating. Other people from the previous town have followed Nathan and Wren to the compound and are murdered at the gates as they ask for help, by the people there, then Wren is blamed and arrested despite being unconcious and sick for the whole trip and not even knowing how to get to the compound. The whole thing is totally dumb and annoying.
Read January 2017.  
star rating photo: 1 star orange-1star.jpg

8 comments:

  1. Static sounds dreadful but the Teddy one sounds adorable. Your dedication to reviewing everything is admirable. I wish I weren't such a procrastinator!

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    1. I guess it's just habit to do at least a few lines about every book. I have a poor memory so if I do at least a mini review I can have a reference so I don't end up accidently going to read something I read and hated previously!

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  2. Sweet! I own the teddy bear book (grabbed it when it was free as well) so I'm glad to hear you enjoyed it. Brutus does sound like he needs a hug.

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    1. Poor Brutus! He isn't the bravest bear but he was adorable! I hope to check out the other books at some point depending on price.

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  3. The Ark has a nice premise, it's too bad the execution was choppy. And the teddy bear book looks awesome! The Estrella book sounds fun too- ninja assassin rats?? Bummer about Static though.

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    1. I'd have loved that Teddy Bear book as a bedtime story but there is still action enough to keep adults happy too. I just love that cover-that bear looks like he's been up to all kinds! Getting a mental image of an army of those bears chasing our heroes is pretty amusing! The rats in the other book are just brilliant!

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  4. I think I downloaded that Necromancer Bureaucrat book after seeing it on your blog. Glad to hear it was fun with some dark humor! I'll save it for when I need something light.

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    1. I don't often do well with books that are meant to be amusing but I did like this. I have the second one to read at some point when time allows!

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